Six Fingers To You

Six Fingers To You

150 150 Ventnor Fringe

Despite all that is happening in the world with the Olympics in Rio and more importantly the Ventnor Fringe, a matter keeps popping up. Yes, I am of course talking about all the ‘inbreeding’ on the Island and how it is, by the word of David Hoare, now a ‘ghetto’. 

    While many find this idea preposterous and ridiculous we thought we’d ask some of our visiting Fringers what they thought of all the inbred people they’d met in Ventnor this week…

“I haven’t encountered them as much as I thought I would despite the propaganda on the mainland. But I did see a man swimming abnormally fast, we could only assume that he had webbed toes.”Amy Taylor from Somerset. 

“My cousin married an inbred last year and it came as quite a shock to the family. So I’ve had to change my attitude and it turns out he’s pretty cool.” Miri Green from Weymouth.

“I thought I fitted in, in Golders Green but I’ve never felt as accepted as I am here.”Ritchie Xavier – London. 

So it seems that people aren’t all that bothered by the inbred population on the Island. 

    I’m not one to criticise someone’s opinions but I feel like the Ofsted Chairman may have only just learnt the word ‘ghetto’ from a young relative the day before. I only say this because dear old David did in fact repeat the phrase on several occasions; almost as though he were trying to justify to himself that he’d used the correct word. This is evident by the fact that not a single use of the phrase was used in the correct context.

    You know those times when you become aware that you’re wrong in an argument but keep arguing to save face and just hope that the other person starts doubting themselves; despite knowing that your point is totally unfounded. Yeah, that’s pretty much how I see this situation. 

So let’s clear this up, what does ‘ghetto’ actually mean?

Ghetto: A part of a city, especially a slum area, occupied by a minority group or groups.

The Isle of Wight is in fact an Island, I can see how you’d get confused with all these skyscrapers, strong mix of diverse cultural population and the grand cathedral in Newport. 

    Oh wait, what’s that? We don’t have any high rises, the population is largely Caucasian and despite the Island being home to over 100 churches, St Thomas’ Minster in St Thomas’ Square is not actually a cathedral. Well that’s an easy mistake for someone unfamiliar with the island.

“I have a house overlooking the Isle of Wight.”David Hoare

Oh, well this is awkward. 

    It’s also slightly awkward given the amount of culture that has travelled over to the Island via Red Funnel and WightLink ferries this week to entertain us here at the Ventnor Fringe. We have had over 300 artists from all cultural backgrounds and ethnicities performing this week, a number of which are actually Island-based. 

    But I think that we should take a positive from the situation, this hoop-la has given a huge amount of publicity to education on the Island. Despite some of the ridiculous statements that Mr Hoare gave, it is true that education on the Island could be better and this exposure has brought it to the forefront of people’s attention. 

    I must also add that the Ofsted Chairman did actually retract his statement with an official apology. 

“I understand that some of my specific comments were offensive as well as being unfounded. For this, I am truly sorry,” – David Hoare.

With this in mind I strongly believe that those outraged by what Mr Hoare said should remember… 

    While we sit under the same sun soaking up cultural delights brought to us by the Ventnor Fringe from all over the world; one man unable to work the dictionary does not a ghetto make.